Here we go again.

Welp. Remember fit to fat? Yeah, I haven't been doing that so much. Remember weight watchers? I haven't been doing that either.

Consistent? Not so much.

However, I'm writing this down (seriously kind of embarrassed, but making myself do it). Yesterday I started to try to do the Insanity workouts.

I was inspired by two of my good friends--Chrisanne & Beth. Chrisanne just recently finished a P90X 'bout and looks AWESOME. Beth started training for (ANOTHER!) half-marathon and has always been all-about kicking my ass into gear.

I am going to try to do the diet along with the work-outs. I started the workouts this past Saturday, and almost copped out of doing it today, but I didn't. It sucked. And I'm already sore, but I really want to do this. I really want to make some changes.

So, I'm going to try. I'm going to try to do this workout routine for the next two months and see what happens. I'm going to try to start the diet this week. I am going on an overnight field trip from Tuesday-Wednesday, so I am leaving things open a bit until Thursday, but trying to still eat well.

I'd love support...but more than anything I'd love for all of you to tell me how much I CANNOT do this. Because absolutely nothing motivates me as much as proving people wrong.

Does that mean there's something wrong with me?

Probably.

The Soundtrack of my life...

"Feel the music, we're dancing to the beat
1,2,3 gotta move my feet.
4,5,6 come on let's go
'cause Elmo likes to rock and roll
Elmo likes to rock and roll baby.

This is the soundtrack to my life. And it's okay with me.

These past few weeks have been so hectic, and there are so many blog entries running through my head, and I don't know where and when to write it all down. So I'm going to go with a bulleted list. How's that for a good writer?

- Finn had "surgery" on February 10th. I put surgery in quotation marks because it was more just a basic procedure, but he was put under and they made an incision and put tubes in his ears, so I am calling it a surgery. Because to me it felt traumatic and difficult and it was surgery in my head. He did fantastically, and was adorable. Here I'll prove it.



Gah! He's so cute.


- I've been yo-yoing diet-wise lately. However, yesterday I weighed in at my lowest yet, down 16.1 pounds down from Christmas. I think it's still pretty impressive, though I've slowed down quite a bit. I really want to start running again, and I'm hoping that will happen this weekend, but you all know that I tend to make lofty goals, and then not reach them (how sad does that sound written out for all to see? What a horrible attribute).

- The last week has been terribly hectic, and the next two weeks will be even worse. In some ways I can't wait for spring break to get here, in others I can wait a bit longer. I started teaching an ACT prep class one night a week. I know, I know you are saying im an idiot- but I have my reasons. One of the main reasons is because I thought I could make those long nights at the pub and double things up and make some extra money at the same time. So that means one night a week for the last two weeks I havent gotten home until 9:30. Then, its also a Paragon deadline (yearbook), so that means there are all these added work nights, most of which I have to bring Finn with for all/some of it. Next week is a Crier week (newspaper), and the week after is another ACT class, and a field trip. Its all just never-ending, and a lot of the time utterly exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if this is how life will feel forever from now on, and then I wonder if so--will I miss it when it's not like this? Because that's how my masochistic mind works.

- I started a blog titled "Dear student" this week that talked about a variety of things that annoyed me about students in general, but it got out of hand quickly and I had to stop! However, it was totally hilarious...and I want to publish it. Maybe I'll have enough guts sometime soon.

- Finns birthday party was awesome, if I do say so myself! It was so fantastic, and there were only a few "I wish I had..." moments!

- Other than these things the last few weeks have been uneventful, and I've enjoyed listening to Elmo rock, Ernie rap and Finn play with all his birthday toys! He is so incredibly fun right now. It honestly just keeps getting better and better!

Feeling healthy and getting clean.
We're takin' a bath, ya know what I mean?
The bubbles scrub-a-dub and we're in the tub.
Cleaning up rubber ducky and all our toes.

Yeah....I shouldn't even be writing here.

I should be too embarassed to even be writing here.

It was not the best weekend, eating wise.

We went out to eat on Friday night with the Hoyles for my birthday. I ate whatever I wanted. It was not good.

If it had ended there it would have been okay. But it didn't.

Randy and I had a "date day" on saturday, and we went to BW3s. It was a massacre.

Sunday was much better, and I feel rededicated today. It's just hard. It's so hard that I can't seem to keep myself committed. Afterwards, I feel like it wasn't worth it, but it doesn't stop me from doing it. I don't think Randy and I can handle "cheat days" yet.

We will see.

I am up from my 15.1 pound loss. I weighed myself today, and I am up 2.3 pounds. This is sad, and hopefully will stop me from being a crazy fool this week, because I'm so happy that I'm making things happen.

Hopefully the next post will greet you with happier news.

Momentum

Well, this weekend was rough. Randy and I had talked about doing a "splurge day" once a month. We decided since we both had to take Friday off anyways (and leave Finn with the sitter) while we met with doctors and bankers, that we would also go out for a lovely lunch. We thought we would celebrate my birthday.

Well, we didn't anticipate a giant snowstorm. However, we still wanted to go somewhere, so we ended up at El Salto. Our not-so-favorite, but good enough Mexican restaurant. We ordered guacamole, chips and I got quesadillas (didn't finish them all).

It was...anti-climactic. You know how you think about something for so long, and when it finally comes it's a huge disappointment. That's how it felt.

By the way, I had cake too. Like, a giant piece of cake.

I felt awful afterwards. I felt like it just wasn't worth it.

I'm really struggling with how to maintain a healthy diet, while making it "livable" too. It's hard.

Then, I went over to the lovely Betty's house to work on some of Finn's birthday stuff. We went to Sam's club. I got lots of stuff for Finn's party. I also got a giant bag of Pirate's Booty (if you haven't eaten this--stop what you are doing, go to the store and get some, it's awesome). I don't know why I did it, but I did.

I also opened that g.d. bag of Pirate's Booty and I scarfed some of it on the way home. It was stupid, and I threw out the rest of the bag as soon as I could, but still.

I just feel like I've lost a bit of momentum.

Now, let me clarify. Through this entire weekend, I only gained .1 pound. So, instead of being down 13.4 lbs, which is what i was down on Friday, I am down 13.3 pounds, but I just feel like it's harder, and I hate that.

Plus, it's my birthday week, and we are going out to dinner once, and to my parents once. So it's going to be hard anyways.

I don't know. I just want to succeed.

The down and dirty truth

This weekend was...well, a "normal" weekend, in that it was insanely, stupidly busy. On Saturday, I had to go to Day #2 of ACT training.. It was from 9-5, exhausting, and draining. Sunday was my niece's 8th birthday party. Both were about an hour away.

Both led to some difficult choices with eating. On Saturday, we were out of turkey lunch meat, so I had to get a sandwich at Potbelly (the home of the wonderful, amazing, AWESOME chocolate chip oatmeal cookies), and then we went out to dinner with my parents for our anniversary. Then on Sunday we had to go out to dinner again with my entire family. It was rough.

And here's the honest truth, I did well, but I didn't do perfectly.

Saturday lunch: skinny turkey on wheat with lettuce and tomatoes & a pickle. This is pretty close to what my normal lunch would have been, and I was proud of myself. No cookie, no chips.

Saturday dinner: Applebees; I ordered off the *under 550 menu* and I got steak with onions. I did really well again. My parents ordered spinach artichoke dip, and I had NONE, I also got potatoes with my meal and ate ZERO of them.

Sunday dinner: Pizza and wings. You heard that right. We went to a pizza and wings restaurant, and that is what they ordered. My sister and her husband were paying for it, so it's not like we could have said "sure we will take this $12 salad, while the rest of you eat pizza and wings." So, we were careful. I ate 2 squares of pizza, and had water. It was hard, and it made me want to eat 1000 more pieces, but I didn't.

All in all, when I weighed myself this morning, I was up .3 pounds. That's a POINT 3, which I am pretty proud of. Under normal circumstances, I would have ate my face off and then "started again"on Monday. I'm pretty proud of that.

Today has ALREADY been full of challenges.

Literally FIRST THING THIS MORNING I was offered a "crownie" which is the BEST cookie on the planet, one of my students makes them and they are sincerely PHENOMENAL! Then, it's another one of my student's birthday, and someone made red velvet cupcakes (again--these cupcakes are amazing). But I won't do it.

I really am serious this time. I hope it sticks.

Surprise...?

This morning I woke up (or was WOKEN up) around 5:30am, after I fed Finn, and then fed Ella, I stumbled into the bathroom and stepped on the scale.

SURPRISE! I am officially down 10 pounds.

TEN POUNDS?

That means I am only 10 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Only 20 (ish) pounds away from my ultimate goal. And it has only been 2 weeks, actually a bit less than two weeks.

WHOA!

I'm pretty excited, but also not all that surprised, because I haven't cheated...not once, which is a huge surprise, because I always cheat on diets.

I don't know that I would say it's getting easier, but it's getting better.

Randy and I have talked about how to make this diet "do-able" for us, and have thrown around doing one "splurge-day" a month. That's 12 days a year of eating whatever we want. I don't know that we have made a decision about this, but I know that my "splurge day" for this month will be my birthday if we decide.

I just wanted to share with...the 2 of you that read this. I'm fairly pleased with myself :)

Check In.

Okay, so Randy and I have been fit2fat-ing for 5 days. And, as much as I tell myself I will, I will NOT blog tomorrow because I am STUPID and I will be at a training session all day.
Why? You ask. BECAUSE I SIMPLY DON'T DO ENOUGH! So I am getting trained to teach an ACT class as well.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Like, when will you ever learn that you are stressed out ENOUGH, stupid.

Anyways, this week has been a rough week for many reasons, but first and foremost is because I am eating healthy (like REALLY healthy) for the first time in years. Like I haven't had any sweets all week. ALL WEEK. It's agony, and torture. I think this should be like waterboarding.

Okay...slight exagerration. Maybe...maybe not to me.

But here's the good news. As of this morning I am down 6.8 pounds. Randy is down almost 10. We are still totally committed. Seriously.

I am kind of proud of us, because I feel like we are actually going to do something.

Also, I'm getting a tattoo...soon, it's for Finn. I am having the hardest time figuring out WHERE to get the tattoo...if you have any suggestions I'd appreciate it!

Thoughts:- Arch of my foot, this is where I originally was going to get it...for sure, but it's a quote, and when I talked to the tattoo artist, he informed me that "I will do it there for you, but it won't last, and in 10 years you won't be able to read it." Now, they said my other tattoos on my foot wouldn't last either, and they have, but they aren't in a script font either. Do it? Or what?

- Shoulder, this one is a tough one too. I don't want to worry about looking "trashy" because I can't wear a strapless dress...thoughts?

- Back (not like lower back area, but on the side of my back)

- Rib cage.
- Under my arm.

Now, when you are looking at these pictures, I'd like you to remember that I do NOT look like them, and I never will. Even if I (when I?) make it to my goal weight. It's not my goal to be super thin.
Thoughts would be appreciated.

And also this is a two-post kind of day. Just so you know.