Sunday, July 28, 2013
I have TWO children. Isn't that crazy?
It might not be to you, but it is to me.
The thing is, I've been thinking about writing this blog for a bit, but I don't want to jinx it...because things are really good, and the transition has been (ssshhhh!) fairly easy.
Before I had Crosby everyone would tell me all the time how difficult it was to go from one child to two children. They would also tell me how it gets easier from 2-3 and 3-4. Now, I don't want to jinx anything, but it totally hasn't been a difficult transition, or at least it hasn't been difficult in the way I thought it was going to be.
For example, right now Finn is watching an episode of Mickey Mouse, after spending the morning playing with his cousin Addy. Crosby is sleeping in his swing. I am sitting here working on the first month of Crosby's baby book and writing this blog.
Don't get me wrong...recovering from the c-section has been (really) difficult, the nasty disgusting spinal headaches and the blood patch were (literally) one of the most horrifying things I've ever experienced. However, once that was over...life has been so much easier than it was when we brought Finn home. Crosby has been an AMAZING nurser, and a better sleeper than Finn was. But it's more than that...I am just so much more comfortable being a mother. I feel like I know something about what I'm doing. I'm not second guessing each and every decision I make. I am not crying about nursing, or how much it hurts, or whether or not I am doing it wrong every second of every day.
And, I can't help but wonder if it's because of me, or if Crosby just fits so perfectly into our little family.
It's like he was meant to be here. I know he was, don't get me wrong, but I just didn't expect him to fit so perfectly. It's like he was never NOT here, and it makes me so happy to know that that's how Finn will remember it. Finn will never know a time without Crosby (though I will cherish those two years where he was my one and only baby), and Crosby will never know a time without Finn. There is something amazing about that.
So, I guess what I am rambling on and on about is that...life is good. Crosby is such a good little baby, so sweet, quiet and content. Finn is such a good big brother. This was another surprise...not that he is a good big brother, but that he is so conscientious of being quiet and gentle around the baby. He has not once been resentful, or mad at Crosby. He's been mad at me, but never ever at Crosby.
It just fits. It feels right.