All of the following things have been on my mind a lot lately.
Flu shots: I have never gotten a flu shot before, so I thought maybe I didn't need one. I seriously thought about this for weeks, and maybe months. So, after several people telling me stories about how important flu shots are, and how they protect the baby even after delivery, I decided to get one. I was just going to go to Walgreens, but Randy wasn't comfortable with that. I went to the doctor's office to get one, and I sat in the waiting room seriously FREAKING out about getting a shot, and/or getting sick after I got the shot. After I got it, I was so freaked out about it, that I got light-headed on the way home, and I had to pull over and lay back. So, that decision is made, I hope it was the right one...but it's done.
Breastfeeding: Randy and I went to a breastfeeding class, and ever since I am completely obsessed with learning more about it, and getting more and more anxious about whether or not I will be able to do it. Some women are apparently not able to produce enough milk, and there are about 100 other things that could go wrong. I really want to make sure that I am able to breastfeed for as long as possible, so I just am really concerned about it. I bought a book about it, Randy and I have talked about it for...like hours, and I just can't get it out of my head.
Birth plans: there are like six THOUSAND things to think about when it comes to birth plans. There are certain things that Randy has to be "in charge" of, which stresses me out, and there are several things that I don't want to be screwed up. I wish that I could have a conversation with God, and just ask him "what's going to happen?" I am okay with everything, but I'd like to know what is going to happen, so I can mentally prepare myself. Now, I am not insane (yet!) and I know that's not going to happen. I just have a problem with not being able to control every aspect of the situation, and I want to be as prepared as possible. So, there's been a lot of stress in thinking about how I am going to deal with all of this.
Bumps: this one is two-fold. First, I am constantly being asked "Are you having twins?" and so I am getting a bit self-conscious about the size of my "bump". This is silly, I know, and I am happy that my little man is growing big and strong and healthy, but I am also scared about how he is going to grow 3 times the size he is in my stomach in the next three months. I just don't see how that is going to happen. And, I think that everyone I tell that fear to, laughs at me. I know it may seem silly, but it is REALLY scary to me--silly or not.
Burgers: Apparently, my baby really likes hamburgers. I have legitimately not had a hamburger, in probably 15 years...but, I have a confession. I have had two. That's right. I have been so good about only have my organic, cruelty-free chicken. However, I just absolutely could not resist...twice. Geez, I have some pretty bad guilt about it, but I am not going to make myself all upset about it, because from what I have read--what I crave, is what the baby needs. And, I can't help it. Judge me if you will :(
