My baby is not a baby.

I haven't written here for a while. It's been a while for a reason, because I don't know what to say.

I don't know how to be eloquent about Finn's first birthday. I can't recount all the wonderful-ness that surrounded it. I can tell you how on his actual birthday Randy and I took off work and took him to the aquarium, and gave him a cupcake, and blew up like a hundred balloons and filled the kitchen with them. I could tell you how he loved his gifts. I could tell you about his wonderful birthday party. How I felt like I accomplished just what I wanted, and everyone had a wonderful time--most importantly Finn. The place was perfect, the food was great, the company was phenomenal. I could tell you about every detail of that party. I could tell you about the fact that I finished his baby book yesterday, and sent it off to printer.

I could tell you all of this, and it sounds great, but I don't know that it fully expresses how I feel about the fact that he is ONE. He is a toddler (I know, I know--he's been walking for 2 months now, so I am aware that he's been toddling for a long while, but it's OFFICIAL now).

Sometimes I can't remember what life was like before him. I remember snippets. I remember sleeping (blissfully) through the night, and hanging out with Randy, and seeing movie after movie with Chrisanne. But I can't SEE any of it.

It's weird because I feel like my life wasn't really complete until he was here. Like I didn't matter as much, and then he came. The night before the biggest snowstorm in the last 50 years, he came into this world and turned my life upside down in the best way possible.

This year has been...so full. Full is the best way to describe it. There have been so many amazing times. So many wonderful firsts, and seconds, and "stills." And I love each and every one of them.

I think that that is a great way to describe him. He makes me feel "full." Mostly of love.

I am so thankful for him, I am so thankful for the "fullness" that he has brought me throughout his first year on earth.

I hope I get to experience so many more full years with him.





#cheesy much? Sorry about my hashtag overuse.

Oh and P.S. I've been just doing okay with the whole diet thing...really wishy-washy on and off. I am trying to get back on the wagon, and need encouragement.