Boob saga...

The drama with my boobs continues...no, it's not getting better.

So, the infection was in my right breast, on Sunday my left breast started hurting terribly. This is the one where Finn always has trouble on, there was also a lump in this one as well, which means another clogged duct. So, I called the lactation consultant and made another appointment for yesterday.

I went to the consultant. She felt around, watched me feed him...AGAIN, and then called in the nurse practitioner. They decided that they thought it was an absess. How do they treat an absess? They have to do surgery and remove it. Yeah...that's right. So, I started crying in the room, like a crazy fool. She gave me a hug (I love her), she told me that I'm a trooper and then proceeded to tell me that she'll never tell me to stop breastfeeding, so if I want to be done, I have to let her know. I didn't know what to say. I know that it's the best thing for him, and I'm really trying, but I don't know what to do. Then, she said I needed to have an ultrasound, and she made me call and schedule it right then (did I mention, I love her....no, seriously I do).

I had to drive directly to the ultrasound place, with a crying baby in the car (he fell asleep pretty quickly) freaking out that they were going to have to do a surgery on my breast. That would suck.

I get there, I check in, they tell me that I need to have both a mammogram and an ultrasound. FML. By the way, the baby can't come with me into the mammogram because of the radiation. I am BY MYSELF.

Nurse: No problem, we'll find someone to watch him.
me: !?!?!?!?!?
Nurse: We've done it 1000 times
Me: (in my head--WHAT THE FUCK!? I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!! I DON'T WANT YOU TO WATCH MY BABY)

So I call Randy and he says "Should I call BEtty" I reply "I don't know how long it'll take, I could be done by the time she gets here" He calls her anyways, and she's awesome so she comes. My poor baby Finn, he just slept the whole time, and he would have been fine, BUT I still don't want some random people watching my beautiful baby. He's so cute they would probably steal him...at least I know where Betty lives if she tried to steal him :)

I then got a mammogram. Mammograms are painful when your boobs already feel like they are going to fall off, and you leak all over the machinery. It sucked. I cried again.

Then, I went in for the ultrasound. Can I also tell you that when I woke up, it did not occur to me that I would be showing 1 million more people my boobs today, so I didn't shave my armpits. That is gross. Seriously.

So, good news...it's not an absess. Bad news...that means it's an infection of some sort; either bacterial or anti-fungal. So we're trying a new antibiotic and seeing what happens. Are you jealous of my life right now?

Also--Finn is ultra-cranky right now. This is ALSO due to my crazy boobs. He's gassy, and crabby, and his belly hurts. And it's horrible to watch. I hate it. I feel like a failure.