My second Favorite part of the day

So, I've already told you about my favorite part of the day, which is putting my little man to bed at night. I'm feeling really REALLY sad because tonight is the first night (and honestly, probably the last because I don't know that I can do this again) that I won't be putting him to sleep. I'm at school, and I really am slightly angry that I'm here and not home with him...but I digress.

My second favorite part of the day comes at the exact opposite time of my favorite part of the day. It's Finn's early morning feeding time. Finn has been going about 7-8 hours between feedings for the first part of the night, and then 3-4 hours between feedings the rest of the time. That early morning feeding (between 4-6 am) is when Finn wakes up, and I stumble to pick him up. I pick him up, he stretches (I LOVE that), I bring him into his room and change his diaper. Every. single. night...he smiles. It's so beautiful. Every night it makes it worth it to wake up at 4 am...seriously.

I take him in the other room so we dont' wake up Randy, and I put something stupid on tv and I nurse him. After I change him, and nurse him, I take him back to our room and he lays in bed with me, in my arm. And it's wonderful. He falls asleep looking at me, and I fall asleep looking at my beautiful boy. It makes me so happy. He sleeps so soundly when he is next to me. Some days I sleep soundly too, other days I just look at him, and think about how incredibly lucky I am to have this little boy in my life.

It's fantastic.

I am exceptionally upset about this today, because I miss him so much right now, and I will not be away from him again when I have to put him to sleep. I just will not do it.