...are terrifying. Seriously, really REALLY terrifying. Yesterday, Randy and I went to our very first childbirth class. I was REALLY tired, because another lovely side effect of pregnancy is that I can no longer sleep...at all. BUT, that is beside the point--we walk in a half-hour early, because we are THOSE people. Right on time--one of my brother's friends walks in with his wife, these are people that I'm not necessarily fond of, coupled with the fact that I just really get sick of seeing people I know EVERYWHERE I go. So, that was annoying thing #1, then we started to actually get into the class these same individuals began talking, LOUDLY, while I was trying to listen to the teacher.
Randy and I sat in the front...we are nerds. And we want to learn this stuff, we want to do this right. These individuals sat in the back, with another couple that they apparently knew, and they spoke, in their "outside" voices the entire time. ANNOYING.
Then, after some discussion about relaxation techniques, etc. etc. they put in the video. You know the one I am talking about. The video with a real-live birth. A human birth, not a pig birth (shout out--Chrisanne Terry), or the giraffe-baby birth that I saw a video of at the zoo.
There are several things that really weirded me out about this video.
- First, I really have to do that...and pretty soon. I'm not sure how that's going to work out.
- Second, this particular woman reached down and touched the baby's head as he/she was coming out...that is gross.
- Three, you have to "give birth" to the placenta after the baby, you don't just get to hang out with your baby.
- Four, these women were like totally naked during this process. I mean seriously naked. There are like 20 people around her and she is naked--I don't think I'm going to be comfortable with that. I don't want anyone to see all my junk.
In conclusion--I'm scared.
After the class, when Randy and I got into the car, he said, "Do you think we should just schedule a c-section?" and I thought, maybe that WOULD be easier.
However, our homework for this week is to read our "book," and to practice affirmations to each other. So, here's my public affirmation to Randy--
Randy-you are going to be (1) a great daddy and (2) you're going to be a great support in the delivery room and I know you'll be there for me. We'll be okay,and so will Baby Hoyle.
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