I am sitting at my desk right now, listening to one of my favorite Dave Matthews Songs "Dancing Nancies" and a particular line resonates with me today...
"I am who I am who I am who am I? Requesting some enlightenment. Could I have been anyone other than me? "
Yesterday & today, after reading a new book and making a doctor's appointment, I began to question one of mycentral characteristics-- that I am a vegetarian.
I am passionately in love with animals-- all animals. Enough that the movie I have been wanting to see for months was not a Twilight movie, or the new J.Lo flick...it was Oceans, the new DisneyNature movie. I have been a proud vegetarian for over a decade, and it's a huge part of who I am. I try to use only products that haven't been tested on animals, I try to be an advocate for those who have no voice. I volunteer (and have volunteered since I was 11 years old) at local animal shelters, am a proud member of PETA, and donate annually to the ASPCA (despite their commercials, created by Satan himself, that make me cry on a weekly basis), Humane Society whenever I can and continually talk people out of buying their dogs from pet stores and only going through reputable breeders. It's important to me.
I am used to being judged based on what I do or do not eat. It is one of the things that I am so used to that it becomes a part of me. Every single Thanksgiving I am harassed by my Uncle who mocks me for being a vegetarian (he always likes to throw in a liberal joke too). One of my least favorite things in the world is people making fun of me and/or talking about the fact that I'm a vegetarian at all. I hate it--seriously. Ask anyone--I have never once made fun of a person for eating meat, nor have I ever judged them for it. I am only responsible for what I do and what decisions I make, no one elses.
However, with the new information and a doctor's appointment on the horizon, I have to think about potentially eating meat for the first time in a decade and I feel sad/upset about it...honestly, sad/upset doesn't cover it...I feel lost. Now, if you have ever spoken to me about being a vegetarian--and I mean seriously spoken to me, not made fun of me, or asked stupid questions--you know that I am not, nor have I ever been, opposed to eating meat. It's never been a question of whether eating animals is right or wrong. To me, it's how the animals are treated...chickens are debeaked, cows and pigs are hung by their legs and bled out, while they are still alive. I don't think any creature--human being or animal should have to go through that kind of torture. It's just not right.
So, what do I do if I have to/want to (for my health and weight) eat chicken (I won't consider anything else) again? Do I? Am I a hypocrite for wanting to? I've done a lot of research and I have found something called Certified Humane Raised and Handled (notice that it doesn't mention anything about the killing being humane...but, I guess it can't really be humane) and (of course) no where on the planet carries these products, I would have to drive to Chicago to get them, but to me it's the only way that I can consider it.
It's the only way I can still live within my moral realm and not feel like a hypcrite. I don't even know if I won't feel like a hypocrite, or a fake.
It's like I don't really know who I am without my vegetarianism, and is that silly?
Maybe I need to do more for animals if I decide that I will eat meat.
It's really strange to me to be sitting here thinking about (1) how others will view me if I do eat meat, because for most--it is the norm. But, honestly, other than a very select few that consist of--my dad, my sisters, Randy and Chrisanne...I don't really care what anyone else thinks. The thing that gets me about it is that I don't know how I'll view myself. If I do start eating chicken, and that's a big if...will it affect what I think of myself?
I know that I am rambling, and I can't really stop, because I seriously cannot stop thinking about it....so, I'm going to end this post by asking two questions...
1. Will I still be the same person if I decide to eat chicken, as long as I eat only chicken that is certified humane?
2. (Less important) Have you looked at the fish on the right side of this blog? they are adorable and if you click on them you can "Feed" them...love it!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Today on the agenda: people who are cheap
So, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Now, when I say this, I am speaking metaphorically, because since my bed is placed against the wall--I can only wake up on one side of the bed. I was crabby for several reasons...
1. It's only Wednesday and I didn't get to sleep in
2. I had to wake up at 5:00 and I am still getting used to this. I decided that I am going to work out in the morning, because then I can really strive to make it a routine, I have to wake up every morning and therefore I need to ensure that that is the absolute first thing that I do. That way, I will slowly but surely, begin to do it every day.
3. I was incredibly sore from day #1 yesterday, like the most sore I've been since 2008, the days when Beth used to make me do terrible things like lunges and squats until I could barely move the next day!
4. Randy said that he would clean the dishes, and he didn't and nothing annoys me more than waking up to a messy house. Now, you'll recall the deal that I have mentioned in previous posts--I clean, Randy cooks. Well yesterday, I COOKED! You heard it here first people. I not only cooked, but I cooked a lot. I made cornbread, homemade soup, and asparagus and cheese. I'm such a good little wife, aren't I? I mentioned to Randy that this should mean that he cleans up. He said, "sure." My kitchen continues to be ridiculously dirty.
5. I could not make my oatmeal because Randy's dad is working on the electrical in our kitchen and there is no longer a plug (at the moment) for the microwave...FML.
6. While I worked out, both of my dogs make it their goal in life to be right underneath my feet so that I almost trip and fall about 30 times during a 40 minute work-out. GEEZ!
Now, these are all relatively small reasons to be upset, but the longer the day goes on the more annoyed that I seem to be. The only bright spot in my day, thus far, has been reading Chrisanne's blog, because it is flipping HILARIOUS!
Anyways, so here's the thing that is REALLY annoying me today. Cheap people. They are everywhere. There is nothing that annoys me more then dealing with a cheap person. I'd like to shower you with examples right now and I've decided that I'm going to do it--Jeff Foxworthy style.
If we go out to lunch together and I say "I'll get it this time and you can get it next time," but 'next time' never comes...you might be a cheap-ass.
If we order pizza together and/or with a large group of people and you don't offer to pay...you might be a cheap ass.
If I have to ask you for money that you owe me...you might be a cheap ass.
If I have to ask you for money that you owe me TWICE...you are most-definitely a cheap ass.
If I say I'll buy you dinner and you order the most expensive thing on the menu (that I know you wouldn't order otherwise)...you might be a cheap ass.
If you call me and ask me if I want you to buy me the commemorative magazine of my favorite show and then call me every day after that to ask about your lousy $10 (when I haven't even seen you)...you might be a cheap ass.
Basically, I hate when people owe me money and don't pay me. I hate it a lot...a LOT, and along with the 493 other things that have annoyed me today, that is the #1 thing that has annoyed me...in the illustrious words of Stephanie Judith Tanner, "How rude!"
1. It's only Wednesday and I didn't get to sleep in
2. I had to wake up at 5:00 and I am still getting used to this. I decided that I am going to work out in the morning, because then I can really strive to make it a routine, I have to wake up every morning and therefore I need to ensure that that is the absolute first thing that I do. That way, I will slowly but surely, begin to do it every day.
3. I was incredibly sore from day #1 yesterday, like the most sore I've been since 2008, the days when Beth used to make me do terrible things like lunges and squats until I could barely move the next day!
4. Randy said that he would clean the dishes, and he didn't and nothing annoys me more than waking up to a messy house. Now, you'll recall the deal that I have mentioned in previous posts--I clean, Randy cooks. Well yesterday, I COOKED! You heard it here first people. I not only cooked, but I cooked a lot. I made cornbread, homemade soup, and asparagus and cheese. I'm such a good little wife, aren't I? I mentioned to Randy that this should mean that he cleans up. He said, "sure." My kitchen continues to be ridiculously dirty.
5. I could not make my oatmeal because Randy's dad is working on the electrical in our kitchen and there is no longer a plug (at the moment) for the microwave...FML.
6. While I worked out, both of my dogs make it their goal in life to be right underneath my feet so that I almost trip and fall about 30 times during a 40 minute work-out. GEEZ!
Now, these are all relatively small reasons to be upset, but the longer the day goes on the more annoyed that I seem to be. The only bright spot in my day, thus far, has been reading Chrisanne's blog, because it is flipping HILARIOUS!
Anyways, so here's the thing that is REALLY annoying me today. Cheap people. They are everywhere. There is nothing that annoys me more then dealing with a cheap person. I'd like to shower you with examples right now and I've decided that I'm going to do it--Jeff Foxworthy style.
If we go out to lunch together and I say "I'll get it this time and you can get it next time," but 'next time' never comes...you might be a cheap-ass.
If we order pizza together and/or with a large group of people and you don't offer to pay...you might be a cheap ass.
If I have to ask you for money that you owe me...you might be a cheap ass.
If I have to ask you for money that you owe me TWICE...you are most-definitely a cheap ass.
If I say I'll buy you dinner and you order the most expensive thing on the menu (that I know you wouldn't order otherwise)...you might be a cheap ass.
If you call me and ask me if I want you to buy me the commemorative magazine of my favorite show and then call me every day after that to ask about your lousy $10 (when I haven't even seen you)...you might be a cheap ass.
Basically, I hate when people owe me money and don't pay me. I hate it a lot...a LOT, and along with the 493 other things that have annoyed me today, that is the #1 thing that has annoyed me...in the illustrious words of Stephanie Judith Tanner, "How rude!"
Monday, April 19, 2010
What do you see as your biggest personal challenges in life?
So, I am a part of the Natural Helpers program at my school. I really love it and I am proud of it. Today, I received a leadership application from a student.
Point of Explanation: In this program there are about 30 participants and then 8 student leaders who basically run the retreat along with the two sponsors. Students must apply and be selected for leadership and it's incredibly important for the retreat to go well.
One of the questions on the leadership application is "What do you see as your biggest personal challenges in life?" And this particular student answered--
"Overcoming the feeling that I am inadequate."
I just had to take a long pause after reading it, for about the thirtieth time since I received the application. It is such a wise sentiment, and something that I truly share with many of my students--the feeling that I am not good enough. It colors a great deal of my life--how I feel on a daily basis, my friends, my family...so many things are potentially changed because of my feelings of inadequacy.
I was just so struck by the profound truth that this simple statement illustrated. I feel inadequate on a normal basis, and some (if not all) of my students feel the same way. Maybe I should spend more time trying to address that feeling of inadequacy in my loved ones and students and less time trying to yell at them, degrade them and tell them what they are doing wrong.
In conclusion, today is a weird day.
Point of Explanation: In this program there are about 30 participants and then 8 student leaders who basically run the retreat along with the two sponsors. Students must apply and be selected for leadership and it's incredibly important for the retreat to go well.
One of the questions on the leadership application is "What do you see as your biggest personal challenges in life?" And this particular student answered--
"Overcoming the feeling that I am inadequate."
I just had to take a long pause after reading it, for about the thirtieth time since I received the application. It is such a wise sentiment, and something that I truly share with many of my students--the feeling that I am not good enough. It colors a great deal of my life--how I feel on a daily basis, my friends, my family...so many things are potentially changed because of my feelings of inadequacy.
I was just so struck by the profound truth that this simple statement illustrated. I feel inadequate on a normal basis, and some (if not all) of my students feel the same way. Maybe I should spend more time trying to address that feeling of inadequacy in my loved ones and students and less time trying to yell at them, degrade them and tell them what they are doing wrong.
In conclusion, today is a weird day.
Top Ten Reasons....
Okay, so in my year and four months of marriage, I've learned a lot--that husbands are incapable of picking up their socks, that sometimes you have to say "I'm sorry" first and even that you love each other, and will survive, regardless of the fact that your husband has to be out of town for eight months out of the year 2009. I could not even possibly bore you with all that I have learned about marriage thus far, and I know that I will continue to learn more and more with each year that we are together.
One of the things that I have learned in my short (sometimes it seems long) marriage to Randy is that when you are married, you need to check with your husband before you write a blog about him. See, when you say something like "I'm going to write the top ten things about you that annoy me...is that cool?" It could be perceived as snotty, but if it's a joke, and you totally mean it to be funny and not mean at all--then you want to ensure that you cover your bases and he is not shocked and sad when he reads the blog. See, I'm like a marriage-therapist over here.
So, after checking with my husband (who really is great...most of the time...I swear), I am bringing to you (or me?)...
2. Randy sings...all the time. Now, this is really funny the first million times you hear him. But he sings everything. ALL.THE.TIME! Like, if he's feeding the dogs he's sing "ELLA-BELLA, I'm getting your food out of the can and putting it in your bowl...LA LA LA!" at the top of his lungs. It is no longer amusing.
3. On the topic of singing, Randy is absolutely incapable of singing a song in his normal singing voice. If Kellie Clarkson comes on the radio--he is going to do his best, most girl-like imitation of Kellie Clarkson's voice to sing the entire song in. All of this occurs at approximately the same volume as a 14 year-old kid screaming for their mommy and daddy to pay attention to them.
4. Randy is kind of like a 5 year old child...if you laugh at something he does, he'll do it like a million more times, until you want to rip each hair out of your head very carefully so that you don't have to listen to him anymore.
5. Randy and I have been together for a long time--10 years, and we've been talking about marriage for a good portion of that time. A long time ago, we made a deal-- "I'll cook--you clean!" I'm the cleaning part, now Randy is adamant about that part of life--he does NOT clean up-at all. If he has a sandwich, he does not clean the plate. If he has a doughnut, he feels completely justified in leaving the sugary powder on the counter and I clean it up--every single day. However, Randy does not cook every day, not even close. He's cooked me dinner many times, I cannot lie. However, not nearly as much as I clean up. Just the other night, he made macaroni and cheese--for himself. I saw each and every one of those plates in the sink and I cleaned every one. My question is "Why is it that I have to clean every day, when your cooking is sporadic, at best?" Riddle me that.
6. When we argue, which--for any of you that know me--is a lot, Randy will say things to me like "You're being irrational" or "You're acting crazy." Which are, for all intents and purposes, probably completely true--however, it does not help the argument and only makes me feel dumb when he says it. I know I'm irrational--I have to deal with my irrationality every singel day.
7. Seriously--pick up your wet towel in the morning.
8. Randy does not ever pick up dog poop. EVER! He thinks it's "gross." Let me tell you, it's no picnic for me either. I'm not running around thinking 'this is awesome and I can't wait to do it again next week.' Aside from the obvious fear that this behavior will continue when we have one child (if I'm the only one changing diapers--one is the number we will have), this is just slightly weird.
9. I feel like I might get a string of "Amen's" on this one. Why is it so damn difficult to change the toilet paper? I feel like I've had that fight at least once a month since we've gotten married. I use the toilet paper every single time I go to the bathroom, YOU do not. Why do I have to tell you over and over again...REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER!
10. We made a deal once...we make a lot of deals...I let the dogs out and feed them in the morning and Randy deals with the dogs at night. Now, if Randy wasn't home or was really busy. I would let the dogs out at night; however, Randy will legitimately wake me up in the morning while he is up and rearing to go on the weekends and say "the dogs need to go out." My response...ARE YOU F&*(SC KIDDING? Why can't you just let them out!?!?!?!?
2. Randy tries...really hard. When I say to him "change the toilet paper every time you use the last of it" he tries really hard to do it, because he loves me and he knows it stresses me out.
3. Randy understands my OCD. If I say I need the bottles to be lined up that way--he just leaves them that way. I don't need to explain it fifty times, he just lets me put things the way that I want them.
4. Randy loves to plan things with me. When the kitchen cabinets were done, we spent like over an hour trying to decide what things were going to go in what cabinets. This included a drawn out diagram to help put things away.
5. Randy wants to make me happy, even when I'm being a huge jerk he wants to give me the things that I want and he tries really hard to make me happy all the time.
6. He loves my friends and is always respectful to them, and he loves my family and is always respectful to them.
7. He always cooks me something vegetarian and he never makes fun of me for bein a vegetarian...ever.
8. He lets me play Mario, even though he absolutely hates it, for hours on end! :)
9. He really listens to me when I need him to and he celebrates my triumphs with me.
10. He loves me...despite my flaws, despite my anal nature and despite my bitchiness.
One of the things that I have learned in my short (sometimes it seems long) marriage to Randy is that when you are married, you need to check with your husband before you write a blog about him. See, when you say something like "I'm going to write the top ten things about you that annoy me...is that cool?" It could be perceived as snotty, but if it's a joke, and you totally mean it to be funny and not mean at all--then you want to ensure that you cover your bases and he is not shocked and sad when he reads the blog. See, I'm like a marriage-therapist over here.
So, after checking with my husband (who really is great...most of the time...I swear), I am bringing to you (or me?)...
The Top Ten things that Randy does that annoy me
1. Every single night Randy lays down on the couch for like 10 minutes before going to bed. At this time, Randy takes off his socks. Why would this annoy me? Because I have to pick up those socks EVERY SINGLE MORNING! Why-0h-why can't you put your socks in the hamper? I have never asked you to (1) do the laundry or (2) fold the laundry or (3) put the laundry away...all I have EVER asked of you is to put your clothes in the laundry bin!2. Randy sings...all the time. Now, this is really funny the first million times you hear him. But he sings everything. ALL.THE.TIME! Like, if he's feeding the dogs he's sing "ELLA-BELLA, I'm getting your food out of the can and putting it in your bowl...LA LA LA!" at the top of his lungs. It is no longer amusing.
3. On the topic of singing, Randy is absolutely incapable of singing a song in his normal singing voice. If Kellie Clarkson comes on the radio--he is going to do his best, most girl-like imitation of Kellie Clarkson's voice to sing the entire song in. All of this occurs at approximately the same volume as a 14 year-old kid screaming for their mommy and daddy to pay attention to them.
4. Randy is kind of like a 5 year old child...if you laugh at something he does, he'll do it like a million more times, until you want to rip each hair out of your head very carefully so that you don't have to listen to him anymore.
5. Randy and I have been together for a long time--10 years, and we've been talking about marriage for a good portion of that time. A long time ago, we made a deal-- "I'll cook--you clean!" I'm the cleaning part, now Randy is adamant about that part of life--he does NOT clean up-at all. If he has a sandwich, he does not clean the plate. If he has a doughnut, he feels completely justified in leaving the sugary powder on the counter and I clean it up--every single day. However, Randy does not cook every day, not even close. He's cooked me dinner many times, I cannot lie. However, not nearly as much as I clean up. Just the other night, he made macaroni and cheese--for himself. I saw each and every one of those plates in the sink and I cleaned every one. My question is "Why is it that I have to clean every day, when your cooking is sporadic, at best?" Riddle me that.
6. When we argue, which--for any of you that know me--is a lot, Randy will say things to me like "You're being irrational" or "You're acting crazy." Which are, for all intents and purposes, probably completely true--however, it does not help the argument and only makes me feel dumb when he says it. I know I'm irrational--I have to deal with my irrationality every singel day.
7. Seriously--pick up your wet towel in the morning.
8. Randy does not ever pick up dog poop. EVER! He thinks it's "gross." Let me tell you, it's no picnic for me either. I'm not running around thinking 'this is awesome and I can't wait to do it again next week.' Aside from the obvious fear that this behavior will continue when we have one child (if I'm the only one changing diapers--one is the number we will have), this is just slightly weird.
9. I feel like I might get a string of "Amen's" on this one. Why is it so damn difficult to change the toilet paper? I feel like I've had that fight at least once a month since we've gotten married. I use the toilet paper every single time I go to the bathroom, YOU do not. Why do I have to tell you over and over again...REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER!
10. We made a deal once...we make a lot of deals...I let the dogs out and feed them in the morning and Randy deals with the dogs at night. Now, if Randy wasn't home or was really busy. I would let the dogs out at night; however, Randy will legitimately wake me up in the morning while he is up and rearing to go on the weekends and say "the dogs need to go out." My response...ARE YOU F&*(SC KIDDING? Why can't you just let them out!?!?!?!?
In an effort to be both diplomatic and truthful...here are the top ten things that Randy does that make me love him...a lot.
1. Fixes everything...I am speaking literally here. He can fix almost anything. He built new walls, put in floors, makes everything in our truly ugly house more and more beautiful every day.2. Randy tries...really hard. When I say to him "change the toilet paper every time you use the last of it" he tries really hard to do it, because he loves me and he knows it stresses me out.
3. Randy understands my OCD. If I say I need the bottles to be lined up that way--he just leaves them that way. I don't need to explain it fifty times, he just lets me put things the way that I want them.
4. Randy loves to plan things with me. When the kitchen cabinets were done, we spent like over an hour trying to decide what things were going to go in what cabinets. This included a drawn out diagram to help put things away.
5. Randy wants to make me happy, even when I'm being a huge jerk he wants to give me the things that I want and he tries really hard to make me happy all the time.
6. He loves my friends and is always respectful to them, and he loves my family and is always respectful to them.
7. He always cooks me something vegetarian and he never makes fun of me for bein a vegetarian...ever.
8. He lets me play Mario, even though he absolutely hates it, for hours on end! :)
9. He really listens to me when I need him to and he celebrates my triumphs with me.
10. He loves me...despite my flaws, despite my anal nature and despite my bitchiness.
Friday, April 16, 2010
I've got all I need...right?
- "No Diggity" by Blackstreet
- "Mouth" by Merrill Bainbridge (if you don't remember this song--you should iTunes it immediately, because you will and it is awesome)
- 'Things that make you say Hmm.." C & C Music Factory
Along with various other examples. Please don't even tell me that you are not impressed with that ridiculous playlist. Chrisanne--if you are reading this...THIS is the reason that we must take my car tonight, so we can listen to this rockin' station.
Okay, so anyways. I'm beebopping along to "What a man" by Salt-n-Pepa this morning and the song ends (unfortunately) and is followed by a really sappy and annoying Savage Garden song, which I detest, so I grudgingly turn the station to a more modern fare of country. One of my favorite songs is on called "Alright" by Darius Rucker (or, for those of you also from the 90's--HOOTIE!). This is one of those songs that on a bad day, or in my case--just on a day--will make me cry. I will share my favorite lyrics with you:
"Maybe later on we'll walk down to the river
Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon
It may not be no French Riviera
But it's all the same to me as long as im with you
It may be a simple life, but that's okay
If you ask me baby, I think I've got it made
Cause I've got a roof over my head,
the woman I love laying in my bed
And it's alright, alright
I've got shoes under my feet
Forever in her eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright
And I've got all I need
And it's alright by me"
Over the past few hours, these lyrics have played over and over again in my head. I am humming it right now. Now, I've heard this song numerous times, and it has brought me to tears numerous times, and as usual it has gotten me thinking about life. This particular passage speaks to me because of it's traveling implications--my life wouldn't be any better if I was in France, or Spain, or Italy, or wherever...my life is good because of the people around me.
My life is pretty much exactly as I have always wanted it to be; sometimes that is a scary thought and other times that is a really wonderful thought. When I was 17 or 18 and I thought about what I wanted out of my life it was a short list, and I think it remains a short list:
- Marry Randy
- Have a house
- Have a car
- Have a job that I love
- Be able to travel
- Live modestly, but happily
I honestly can say, that I am right where I wanted to be (minus the fact that I thought I would have traveled a bit more). Isn't that scary/awesome. I don't know anyone close to me that married the person that they thought they would, and while that has worked out for them--I love Randy with all my heart and I would never trade him for anything and I am so happy that I married him.
- Randy if you're reading this--this is despite the fact that you do the following things to annoy me: don't clean up your dishes, leave your socks on the floor and sometimes forget to change the toilet paper roll.
However, regardless of this revelation, I find myself unhappy a lot of the time and wanting things that I don't necessarily need at the moment. Why is this? Is it human nature to want more?
As I sit back and look at the past days, months, and even years, I always seem to remember every deriding comment, selfish choice, broken promise, broken friendships and bad thing that has happened. Why is it so much easier to remember the bad things, then all the wonderful things that I do have?
I am hoping that little by little, with some work, I will find myself being thankful for everything that has gone RIGHT-that amidst my sadness, loneliness, and stress there is always something encouraging right around the corner.
I will start right now with a quick list of things that I am incredibly thankful for.
- Well, let's start with the obvious--XM radio; especially 90's on 9
- My dad and the fact that he really listens to me when I have a problem. The fact that he is always there for me. I know a lot of other people don't have that luxury.
- My sister Ashley--I am thankful that she and I have a great relationship and she can be mad at me and I can be mad at her and it's okay, because we know we will be fine. I'm glad that I was able to decide at a very young age that I was going to have a good relationship with her, unlike the relationship I had with my older brother and that I stuck to that.
- Randy--I am thankful that Randy knows the real me--raw, sometimes bitchy, sometimes wounded, sometimes happy; and that he loves me anyways.
- My dogs--I am thankful that someone around me loves me unconditionally and even when I'm mad at them, they still want to cuddle up with me no matter what.
- My house--this has been a long road; there have been times where I really didn't know if I could handle the construction at my house. Slowly, but surely the construction is becoming less and less apparent and the house is becoming more and more beautiful and more and more liveable. I have high hopes that it will be done and ready-for-entertaining by this summer, which makes me exponentially happy.
- New opportunities in life- I am happy that when I want something new and exciting it seems to happen. There are so many new and exciting things that I am on the verge of--and it's exciting to not know exactly what is going to happen.
Health
Friends
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Blog Envy
So, I entered the "blogosphere" in January of this year, just wanted to keep it as almost like a diary. What am I thinking about on a daily basis? And, that's what I've done. I wanted to write for myself--at first I didn't even tell anyone I had it, for fear of criticism and other ridiculousness. I haven't held myself to any sorts of high standards, or whimsical fantasies about the kind of writer I really am. However, recently two friends have started blogs and/or began blogging more frequently (on a blog that I didn't know about before then) and I've gotta tell all of you--I've got a severe case of "blog envy."
My sister-in-laws blog is like the prettiest blog on the planet and my friend's blog is just so damn funny. I have found myself thinking "how can I make my blog better? funnier? prettier?
I can't really decide...but I think I will continue to suffer from feeling of inadequacy about my "unpretty" and "unwitty" blog! You girls are just so clever that I can't keep up!
So, this is my official acceptance of my blah-blog. Maybe I should think about renaming it! Ha ha!
Seriously though--you guys are awesome and I have so much fun reading your blogs that I can't stand it. I hope that, at times, mine is minutely entertaining to you as well.
Hi-ho, hi-ho it's back to work I go.
My sister-in-laws blog is like the prettiest blog on the planet and my friend's blog is just so damn funny. I have found myself thinking "how can I make my blog better? funnier? prettier?
I can't really decide...but I think I will continue to suffer from feeling of inadequacy about my "unpretty" and "unwitty" blog! You girls are just so clever that I can't keep up!
So, this is my official acceptance of my blah-blog. Maybe I should think about renaming it! Ha ha!
Seriously though--you guys are awesome and I have so much fun reading your blogs that I can't stand it. I hope that, at times, mine is minutely entertaining to you as well.
Hi-ho, hi-ho it's back to work I go.
Monday, April 12, 2010
I fell down the stairs...that is not a typo and no you are not reading a 5 year old's blog
I have had a rough morning, "But Becky, it's only 8:10 am, how could you possibly have had such a rough morning already?" Well, let me tell you...
Today is an exciting day, I have a meeting about the ever-so-elusive job opportunity. I wake up (early), take a shower (early), do my hair all fancy-like (early!), watch Saved By the Bell (can't change up my routine too much or the dogs get nervous) and get dressed in nicer-than-normal clothing. I get my lunch ready, feed the aforementioned dogs, wake up my lovely husband and get on my way. Randy has already walked out the door and I am walking downstairs...doing all of the following...shuffling through my purse to find my keys, checking my text messages, aqnd trying to hold on to a bag of fat-free Pringles, a Smart Ones, a giant water bottle, my purse and my phone.
I tripped over my taller-than-normal shoe and seriously FELL down the stairs. We are talking head-first. On the way down I hit...both of my knees, my elbow, my hands and...get ready for this...my chin on the cement floor in the basement.
Bruises are already appearing on...my elbows, knees and (hope that this is in my hypochondriac mind...my chin. WTF? My legs also feel sore as well as my shoulder hurts.
Who wants to start off a Monday like that? Especially a Monday where I want to feel good, where I want to feel positive. Seriously...FML.
Now, as I fall down the stairs, I legitimately don't know if I can get up and I start to sob...I mean hysterically sob...and reach for my phone and call Randy "Call Failed" and call Randy "Call Failed" and call Randy "Call Failed" and call Randy
Me: sob::sniffle::sob
Randy : "What's wrong?!?!?"
Me: "I" sob:: sniffle:: "fell down the" sob:: sniffle "stairs."
Randy: Hangs up the phone and literally runs back into the house and helps me up, looks at all my injuries, hugs me, wipes away my tears, "I'm sorry, are you okay?"
Love him yet?
Then he carries my books and everything into the car, makes sure I am okay...did I mention he's already late for work at this point?
I love him. Then, he calls me on the way to work and apologizes about not putting up the banister for the stairs sooner.
So...while falling down the stairs makes me want to kill myself...FML, the fact that I can always count on Randy to "pick me up" both literally and figuratively = MLIA.
Damn. I hope today gets better.
Today is an exciting day, I have a meeting about the ever-so-elusive job opportunity. I wake up (early), take a shower (early), do my hair all fancy-like (early!), watch Saved By the Bell (can't change up my routine too much or the dogs get nervous) and get dressed in nicer-than-normal clothing. I get my lunch ready, feed the aforementioned dogs, wake up my lovely husband and get on my way. Randy has already walked out the door and I am walking downstairs...doing all of the following...shuffling through my purse to find my keys, checking my text messages, aqnd trying to hold on to a bag of fat-free Pringles, a Smart Ones, a giant water bottle, my purse and my phone.
I tripped over my taller-than-normal shoe and seriously FELL down the stairs. We are talking head-first. On the way down I hit...both of my knees, my elbow, my hands and...get ready for this...my chin on the cement floor in the basement.
Bruises are already appearing on...my elbows, knees and (hope that this is in my hypochondriac mind...my chin. WTF? My legs also feel sore as well as my shoulder hurts.
Who wants to start off a Monday like that? Especially a Monday where I want to feel good, where I want to feel positive. Seriously...FML.
Now, as I fall down the stairs, I legitimately don't know if I can get up and I start to sob...I mean hysterically sob...and reach for my phone and call Randy "Call Failed" and call Randy "Call Failed" and call Randy "Call Failed" and call Randy
Me: sob::sniffle::sob
Randy : "What's wrong?!?!?"
Me: "I" sob:: sniffle:: "fell down the" sob:: sniffle "stairs."
Randy: Hangs up the phone and literally runs back into the house and helps me up, looks at all my injuries, hugs me, wipes away my tears, "I'm sorry, are you okay?"
Love him yet?
Then he carries my books and everything into the car, makes sure I am okay...did I mention he's already late for work at this point?
I love him. Then, he calls me on the way to work and apologizes about not putting up the banister for the stairs sooner.
So...while falling down the stairs makes me want to kill myself...FML, the fact that I can always count on Randy to "pick me up" both literally and figuratively = MLIA.
Damn. I hope today gets better.
Friday, April 9, 2010
The Nerve I have
So, as I posted out there to my hundreds of thousands of readers...stop laughing, oh wait, no one's laughing, no one is there...I had several students deface my property one Monday of this week. Well, talking to those students went better than expected with some, worse than expected with others.
I still don't feel like I know the entire story because each one likes to blame the others for the main destruction. So, I have to punish everyone, which is just fine by me.
Rather than making them pay for my poster, or anything else...I will make them write a 3-4 page essay about responsibility, and it will hurt...a lot.
But, here's what annoys me today...I told the last student about it today; the first two accepted responsibility wholeheartedly and seemed to understand. The last two gave me attitude back...ME?
Me...who did NOT call their parents. Me...who decided not to report them to the AP. ME!?!?!? And now I feel more annoyed than ever about the situation. I feel like I cut them a break.
I also feel like it's ridiculous that only one person in that class told me the truth...only one. I'm trying to internalize the fact that out of 30 kids, only ONE thought that it was important enough to tell me. Would I have told if I was in the class? I really hope I would have, I can't remember EVER seeing ANYONE vandalize anything at school, but would I have had the guts to tell? Or would I lack integrity as well.
I am really trying my best to not hold it against the entire class, but I don't know if I will succeed at that. It is hard because I am truly angry about it, but moreso I am hurt by it. I feel a little bit silly about that. I don't care what these kids think of me, many of them already hate me. I guess I care more that they don't respect me, because you wouldn't do that to someone that you respect.
So...that's my beef with today.
However, there are also several good/great things about today. I shall list them for all of you (LoL--I am so funny with the "all of you" references today!)
- Today is FRIDAY! :)
- There are only56 days until school is over :)
- I am going to a movie with Chrisanne tonight, and we get to eat popcorn and drink pop...did not realize how dorky this sounded until actually writing ti.
- Oliver is feeling better!
- Did I mention that IT IS FRIDAY!?
- I am having my IMAP assessment today, and therefore hope to have my "golden ticket" in my hand by the end of the day ensuring that I will have my teaching license next year!
I still don't feel like I know the entire story because each one likes to blame the others for the main destruction. So, I have to punish everyone, which is just fine by me.
Rather than making them pay for my poster, or anything else...I will make them write a 3-4 page essay about responsibility, and it will hurt...a lot.
But, here's what annoys me today...I told the last student about it today; the first two accepted responsibility wholeheartedly and seemed to understand. The last two gave me attitude back...ME?
Me...who did NOT call their parents. Me...who decided not to report them to the AP. ME!?!?!? And now I feel more annoyed than ever about the situation. I feel like I cut them a break.
I also feel like it's ridiculous that only one person in that class told me the truth...only one. I'm trying to internalize the fact that out of 30 kids, only ONE thought that it was important enough to tell me. Would I have told if I was in the class? I really hope I would have, I can't remember EVER seeing ANYONE vandalize anything at school, but would I have had the guts to tell? Or would I lack integrity as well.
I am really trying my best to not hold it against the entire class, but I don't know if I will succeed at that. It is hard because I am truly angry about it, but moreso I am hurt by it. I feel a little bit silly about that. I don't care what these kids think of me, many of them already hate me. I guess I care more that they don't respect me, because you wouldn't do that to someone that you respect.
So...that's my beef with today.
However, there are also several good/great things about today. I shall list them for all of you (LoL--I am so funny with the "all of you" references today!)
- Today is FRIDAY! :)
- There are only56 days until school is over :)
- I am going to a movie with Chrisanne tonight, and we get to eat popcorn and drink pop...did not realize how dorky this sounded until actually writing ti.
- Oliver is feeling better!
- Did I mention that IT IS FRIDAY!?
- I am having my IMAP assessment today, and therefore hope to have my "golden ticket" in my hand by the end of the day ensuring that I will have my teaching license next year!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Things that make you say hmmm...
Today I would like to cover several items (this is kind of like my "agenda")...
1. Edward Cullen (get excited!)
2. Possible careers...
3. Randomness
1. My students (with a sub...of course with a sub...I don't even know why they hire subs, I think the students could look after themselves more effectively)...DEFACED my Edward Cullen cut-out. I can't really understand why it bothers me so much. I just feel completely disrespected. They know how much I love Edward, and I cannot fathom why. So NOW, I have found out who did this (they aren't very smart about things), and so I have to talk to them about it today...not fun.
2. I have a possible career choice on the horizon. I don't want to talk about it too much because (1) I don't know who reads this and I can't trust people and (2) I don't want to jinx it. But...get excited!
3. I am excited about the following things:
- I am going to be an aunt...again....it's a girl and I'm VERY excited, and a little bit jealous
- I am obsessed with Mario Brothers and I need to go to counseling
- I am very excited to go see a movie with Chrisanne this weekend, and mostly to be able to drink a fountain drink
- I love Randy.
Short blog post. Not in a writing mood. Very busy.
1. Edward Cullen (get excited!)
2. Possible careers...
3. Randomness
1. My students (with a sub...of course with a sub...I don't even know why they hire subs, I think the students could look after themselves more effectively)...DEFACED my Edward Cullen cut-out. I can't really understand why it bothers me so much. I just feel completely disrespected. They know how much I love Edward, and I cannot fathom why. So NOW, I have found out who did this (they aren't very smart about things), and so I have to talk to them about it today...not fun.
2. I have a possible career choice on the horizon. I don't want to talk about it too much because (1) I don't know who reads this and I can't trust people and (2) I don't want to jinx it. But...get excited!
3. I am excited about the following things:
- I am going to be an aunt...again....it's a girl and I'm VERY excited, and a little bit jealous
- I am obsessed with Mario Brothers and I need to go to counseling
- I am very excited to go see a movie with Chrisanne this weekend, and mostly to be able to drink a fountain drink
- I love Randy.
Short blog post. Not in a writing mood. Very busy.
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