I am sitting at my desk right now, listening to one of my favorite Dave Matthews Songs "Dancing Nancies" and a particular line resonates with me today...
"I am who I am who I am who am I? Requesting some enlightenment. Could I have been anyone other than me? "
Yesterday & today, after reading a new book and making a doctor's appointment, I began to question one of mycentral characteristics-- that I am a vegetarian.
I am passionately in love with animals-- all animals. Enough that the movie I have been wanting to see for months was not a Twilight movie, or the new J.Lo flick...it was Oceans, the new DisneyNature movie. I have been a proud vegetarian for over a decade, and it's a huge part of who I am. I try to use only products that haven't been tested on animals, I try to be an advocate for those who have no voice. I volunteer (and have volunteered since I was 11 years old) at local animal shelters, am a proud member of PETA, and donate annually to the ASPCA (despite their commercials, created by Satan himself, that make me cry on a weekly basis), Humane Society whenever I can and continually talk people out of buying their dogs from pet stores and only going through reputable breeders. It's important to me.
I am used to being judged based on what I do or do not eat. It is one of the things that I am so used to that it becomes a part of me. Every single Thanksgiving I am harassed by my Uncle who mocks me for being a vegetarian (he always likes to throw in a liberal joke too). One of my least favorite things in the world is people making fun of me and/or talking about the fact that I'm a vegetarian at all. I hate it--seriously. Ask anyone--I have never once made fun of a person for eating meat, nor have I ever judged them for it. I am only responsible for what I do and what decisions I make, no one elses.
However, with the new information and a doctor's appointment on the horizon, I have to think about potentially eating meat for the first time in a decade and I feel sad/upset about it...honestly, sad/upset doesn't cover it...I feel lost. Now, if you have ever spoken to me about being a vegetarian--and I mean seriously spoken to me, not made fun of me, or asked stupid questions--you know that I am not, nor have I ever been, opposed to eating meat. It's never been a question of whether eating animals is right or wrong. To me, it's how the animals are treated...chickens are debeaked, cows and pigs are hung by their legs and bled out, while they are still alive. I don't think any creature--human being or animal should have to go through that kind of torture. It's just not right.
So, what do I do if I have to/want to (for my health and weight) eat chicken (I won't consider anything else) again? Do I? Am I a hypocrite for wanting to? I've done a lot of research and I have found something called Certified Humane Raised and Handled (notice that it doesn't mention anything about the killing being humane...but, I guess it can't really be humane) and (of course) no where on the planet carries these products, I would have to drive to Chicago to get them, but to me it's the only way that I can consider it.
It's the only way I can still live within my moral realm and not feel like a hypcrite. I don't even know if I won't feel like a hypocrite, or a fake.
It's like I don't really know who I am without my vegetarianism, and is that silly?
Maybe I need to do more for animals if I decide that I will eat meat.
It's really strange to me to be sitting here thinking about (1) how others will view me if I do eat meat, because for most--it is the norm. But, honestly, other than a very select few that consist of--my dad, my sisters, Randy and Chrisanne...I don't really care what anyone else thinks. The thing that gets me about it is that I don't know how I'll view myself. If I do start eating chicken, and that's a big if...will it affect what I think of myself?
I know that I am rambling, and I can't really stop, because I seriously cannot stop thinking about it....so, I'm going to end this post by asking two questions...
1. Will I still be the same person if I decide to eat chicken, as long as I eat only chicken that is certified humane?
2. (Less important) Have you looked at the fish on the right side of this blog? they are adorable and if you click on them you can "Feed" them...love it!
Bex,
ReplyDeleteWow. So, here are my thoughts (because I HOPE that I am included in your "sisters" and that it's not just Renee and Ashley in that group)...
I've always admired your conviction regarding animals. In fact, after one of my students did a persuasive speech about why one should be a vegetarian, I even flirted with the idea myself. I've always understood your stance, your beliefs...I hope you know that.
I also think it's HUGE that you are considering the possibility of eating poultry. The fact that you are, to me, is indicative of the person you really are. You have never been one to be committed to something without a reason. The fact that with research you may change your mind or modify your behavior is very "Becky." Whatever you decide, make the decision that is healthiest for YOU.
Along a similar line of thought, I've been spending a lot of time researching the food we're eating too. Specifically, the GMO's (genetically modified organisms) that all of us are eating without really knowing it. It's another aspect of our food that's scary, and honestly, truly organic food, like the meat you're talking about, is hard to find AND expensive! I bring this up to say...I get it to some extent.
Finally, know that whatever you choose to do, those of us who know and love you will support. You will still be our Rebecca Lynn who loves animals and fights for their fair treatment in this world. Our Becky who thinks for herself and makes decisions based on what is right for her, regardless of what others think. That’s who you are, and who I know you will always be. Remember, we love you for it.
I totally 100% agree with Betty. People change their ways or modify what they do all the time based on what is best for them. In life, a little part of you has to be selfish and do things because they are RIGHT FOR YOU, not because it is what others think you should do. You eating poultry does not change your stance on anything- it is a decision that you are making for whatever is driving you towards that decision. And, to all those who do care for some unknown, stupid reason? Screw them.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to take a look at our website. We hear from many people who are at a similar juncture in their lives and they are happy to find Animal Welfare Approved, the third-party certification program that has been called the "most stringent" for two years running by the WSPA. Our searchable database helps people find restaurants, retailers and internet order options carrying AWA products. Take a look and let us know if you have any questions. http://www.AnimalWelfareApproved.org
ReplyDeleteThanks girls! Bett, your post made me cry! I just really appreciate the support, I haven't made a decision yet, but it's nice to know that the people I care about the most will support me. Randy and I have looked into a locally grown, co-op that delivers to different neighborhoods throughout the month, so we'll see what happens.
ReplyDeleteBeth--I am checking out your website as we speak, thanks so much for the info!