Stealing other people's work

Hi! So, I have a quick thing to write about, and then I'm going to steal other peoples work to put on this blog for today.

First, my friend Leah said to me "I never thought I'd be "That" parent...but I am." or something along those lines. I couldn't help but think about how true this statement is. I can't tell you how many things, ALREADY in Finn's short (almost) 7 weeks of life that I have done, that I never thought I would. It's crazy. I never thought I would lay with my little baby just to get him to fall asleep. I never thought I'd let him sleep in his swing for hours. I never thought that I would go for 2 days without a shower because I can't get anything done. I never thought I'd let people come to my house when it is (LITERALLY) the dirtiest it's ever been. I never thought I'd be insane about who I want to watch my child. I never thought that I'd think work was a break. I never thought...I never thought...I never thought. BUT, I've done all of these things. And it's okay.

This has also given me a new perspective about my parents. My dad once said to me "I love you so much, I don't think you'll ever understand how much until you have a child of your own." That love is so true and so pure that I cannot explain it. However, there are so many other emotions that come along with motherhood. Besides love, the greatest one for me is FEAR. I am so afraid that I am doing something wrong, or that Finn is in any sort of pain, discomfort,etc. There is anger--anger at Randy for getting so much sleep. Resentment for not being able to run to the store, that my body isn't back to normal, or anywhere near normal. Irrationality--about so many things, things that I couldn't write on this blog or even admit to anyone (except maybe Randy).

My aunt and grandpa came over today and my grandpa said "So, are things getting back to normal?" I thought for a moment and said "Yes, a NEW normal." And, I guess that is what I'm getting at--this is my new normal. Happiness, intense love...peppered with fear, anger, resentment and 100 other emotions. I never thought that was the parent I would be...but it's the parent I am, and maybe that's okay.


Okay...so that was longer than I thought it would be, so I'll just steal one thing from another blog (for today). It's a poem, and it's beautiful, and stunning, and will make you cry if you just had a baby...so be prepared.

I stole this from one of my favorite blogs...go here if you want to read it. http://sarahnoelsmusings.blogspot.com

Out of Infinity, by Andrew

Andrew is a poet and songwriter, and he runs a writing blog called Not Half Right. Thanks so much for guest posting, Andrew!


out of infinity i awoke,
predestined to live
a-lot-like-my-ancestors-did,
and stumbled upon the first forms of life
in my unbalanced
little
world.

my eyes, a-lot-younger-
then,
caught a glimpse
of what appeared to be love
in the shape of a tired, teary-eyed Woman,
and a tall, astonished Man.

They were scary, a-lot-bigger-than-me,
but so was everything else.
Whatever-Had-Awakened-Me from
my infinite slumber
had left me with
a severe disadvantage.

i knew nothing.
i was a-lot-smaller than everything.

i began to cry.

but the arms that held me
and the faces that stared down at me
felt so familiar.

Their breath
running at the same pace as my new breath.
They were just-as-scared
about the future.

i developed my first thought:
this Man and this Woman are treasures.
They were given to me,
by Whatever-Had-Awakened-Me,

to even the odds
to give me a better start
to show me with Their lives

what love is and forever-will-be.
my crying stopped.
and i fell into the deepest slumber

since infinity.