Confusion

So, yesterday, the teacher that has the classroom across from me had a rough day. Her daughter was sick and vomited at school, she had to leave school and go pick her up, then come back to school. She was telling me how she has been absent twice already this week, and she hadn't seen her sophomores at all, and her daughter didn't feel well this morning, but she sent her to school anyways.

Then she said something which was incredibly provocative to me, "Sometimes I just can't decide whether to be a good mom or a good teacher..." and I just couldn't breathe for a moment. Is it going to be possible to be both?

I feel like this a lot of the time already. I often say that I can choose to be ahead in life, or at school? I cannot have both at the same time. This is something that has just started this year. How do I change this? I do not want to have to choose between these two things, because, to me, there is no option. I will always want to be a good mom, more than I want to be a good teacher. But, can I be both? I want to be an effective teacher, a good teacher, and a good mom. How do I do both jobs?

I am hopeful that I am able to find a way to follow the path and find how to be a good mother and a good teacher, but I am also realistic, and I know that my baby will be much more important to me than anything or anyone else in the entire world.

I sometimes feel an immense amount of guilt (when I say sometimes--what I mean is every morning) when I leave Ella in the bedroom in the morning. I always say "Love you munch! Mommy is so sorry that she has to go to work, she will be able to hang out with you in ____ days." How much worse will this feel when I have to leave my Ella at home, and then drive my son to daycare?

I hope I can handle it.

I am so full of emotions these days, I mostly just hope I can handle getting through the next 10 minutes, LoL.

P.S. So happy it's Friday--weekend is jam-packed full of fun stuff. I hope everything goes well! :)