Intervention

On Thursday, arguably the worst day of the worst week ever I got a phone call. I got a phone call from two fellow journalism advisers. Two great advisers. Two advisers that I respect. Two advisers that I think are successful. Two advisers that have children, and are working.

They told me that I cannot be Nancy (she is my mentor, she is the person I replaced at Munster, she is awesome). They told me that I cannot be her; and I don't want to be her. They said it is okay to not do what she did. They said that I could do this.

They helped me. It wasn't what they said , per se. It was that they told me that I had the control. I can tell the kids, I need to leave at a certain time. They reminded me that I am in charge. I can control the circumstances, and I can make changes.

After this, the day was long, but the week was almost over. It seemed to get better. Then, one of my friends wrote on their facebook status that they were going to stay home with their baby.

It felt like I was punched in the gut.

Now, let me clarify, I am happy for her. Seriously, I am. I would never want someone to feel bad like I do. I want people to be able to do what they want to do. But, it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

The rest of the weekend was good. But, it was tainted by those crappy feelings. I am really hoping that this week will get better.

Here's the thing--I don't think it will. Not because of work, but because my sister is leaving on Sunday. She is like REALLY leaving. She will be in Ireland and France for 9 months. I got a taste of how sad it's going to be today. She said goodbye to my niece and nephew and my sister and John. I think I cried more than her. But it's nothing like what next weekend will be.

Too much is changing. I can't deal with it. I suck.

I am so hopeful that this week WILL be better.