For Finn #2

Okay, so last time I talked about Finn's amazing male role models. Now, we will talk about female ones...in #7 & #8






7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity
The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).

8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.
You already are all of those things. If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this: If you have done any of the following: a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero. do not doubt yourself for one second. Seriously.


So both of these are incredible. The first one is so important to me. I remember Randy once saying to me, during one of the times that we were broken up, "I just wish I could find someone to carry on a conversation with." This is definitely in part to being surrounded by intelligent women his entire life. Randy is not intimidated by intelligent women, but rather relishes in being around both intelligent men and women.


I hope that I can teach my son the same lessons, I hope that I can show him that beauty is fine, and princesses are all well and good. But women are more than just something to look at, they are smart, and they have feelings, and they deserve to be respected the same way that men do. I get so tired of what girls and boys are "supposed" to do, which is why my son has a pink hairbrush (they were out of blue and WHO THE HELL CARES?), and why he will have a doll, and learn to love, and cry and FEEL. And if, when he is grown up, wants to throw all that out the window and be a "manly man" who never cries--I'll love him all the same. If he doesn't, it's all the same to me.

Just as I want Finn to know that he doesn't have to fit into some insane society-driven "man" box, I want him to know that women don't have to fit into some insane "woman" box. They are not all the same, and they are strong and capable of anything and everything. He doesn't have to look up to only men, he can look up to strong, dignified, capable women throughout his life.


I just know I don't ever want my son to think that disrespect for anyone is okay, but specifically women. I want him to know how important HE is, but also how important OTHERS are.

As far as #8 goes, I hope that Finn will look at me as a strong woman, who is intelligent. I don't know about the beauty part, but I hope he will, one day, look at me as a woman with strength, dignity and integrity. I'll have to keep working on myself more and more though, because there are days that I struggle with each and every one of those items.